i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
