So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
