Are we in a gay sports bar?
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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