Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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