rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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