i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Randomize
