You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
