He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
