remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
So squirting runs in the family.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
