I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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