hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
