she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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