4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize