can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
