Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
