Plan B is the new Plan A
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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