If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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