What a fucking waste of an outfit
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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