You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
