Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
