I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
No I am not eating basil off your cock
where are you?
Hypothermia
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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