Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
There are leaves in my underwear?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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