Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Randomize
