I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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