I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Damn victory sex feels great
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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