At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
