maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
