She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
