ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
