Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
ttyl tear gas
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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