Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
