i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
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