This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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