I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize