she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
