Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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