There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
