Acid is not a monday night drug
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
