Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize