This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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