True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
