Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
