names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
this just has baby written all over it
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
