idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
