No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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