If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
