Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
