i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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