either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
whose ass print is on the piano?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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