So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
