she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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