the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
handjob tips. give me some.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Randomize
