The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
