saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
