they need to just BURY HIM!
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
