You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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