I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
