you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
