Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
