well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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