I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I have aggressive nipples.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
