Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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