I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
In other news, I just burned my penis
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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