did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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