i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
