I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
