I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
