Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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