You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
