Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
