what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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