Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
