I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
