Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
