Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just gift wrapped bread.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
i believe in u and ur pee
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
