what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize